so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He felt like a one man threesome
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
