He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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