not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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