That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
