i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
