Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
