dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
