i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
