Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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