I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
