I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
