I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
