i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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