Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Randomize