i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
