Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We left an ass print on the piano.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
