Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just gargled with NyQuil
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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