If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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