I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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