talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
