Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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