I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
