I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
