I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I think I am morally bankrupt
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
