spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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