Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
