i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
