Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
