we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize
