i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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