her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just googled if crying burns calories
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
