You're completely useless in the revolution.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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