Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We are two peas in an std pod
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
