Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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