I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I need moral support for this bender
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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