How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize