pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
