I wish I could punch you in the face.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
