I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
