Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I love having hate sex.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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