I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
