the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
