I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
