There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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