I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
