dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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