btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You're like the curious george of whores
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
