Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
