Jerry, you need to find god
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
