Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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