Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
