so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
