Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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