3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
