So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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