I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize